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1) Arrested For Laughing:

This is from an actual trial in the UK : A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.

When She Noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on Account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing…… She had him arrested.

Then the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner.

His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn’t help noticing she was pregnant.. She sat under an advertisement, which read: ‘Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins’.

I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement, which read: ‘William’s Stick Did The Trick’.

Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read: ‘Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.’

The case was dismissed!

2) Woman Properties:

Element Name: WOMAN

Symbol: WO

Atomic Weight: (don’t even go there!)

Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.

Chemical properties: Very active. Often unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
 

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